tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3791244652554936.post9150392576636881134..comments2023-03-07T03:09:03.200-08:00Comments on Not a Guru: Spiritual Insights into Every Day Life: A new model for womenDespina Gurlideshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11479507100650738161noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3791244652554936.post-66415908471573109012011-09-16T18:13:46.928-07:002011-09-16T18:13:46.928-07:00Popi,
Thank you for sharing your feelings
and your...Popi,<br />Thank you for sharing your feelings<br />and your energy.<br />It's interesting that others see you as beautiful, but you yourself don't.<br />A highly sexual woman can be seen as beautiful and desirable.<br />Sexual energy is life- giving, creative juice, and who wouldn't want to play in that arena? <br /><br />I've been under the assumption that<br />people who are "sexy" are also<br />confident, but maybe this isn't so.<br />Or maybe their confidence is only<br />in that niche?<br /><br />I never considered myself beautiful, but I saw myself as an<br />attractive woman, and almost always<br />got what I went after.<br /><br />It never mattered that some might<br />not be attracted to me because I<br />know that everyone has different tastes, as do I.<br /><br />There will always be people with a <br />need to offend and discount. This is most likely from insecurity. We<br />have no control over them. The only<br />control we have is to put distance between them and us.<br /><br />After I separated from my husband of 19 years, I only had younger lovers. One man was 15 years younger. I wasn't attracted to the<br />older men because they seemed too<br />conservative, possessive, etc. I<br />wanted to be with evolved men.<br /><br />It's interesting that you feel<br />insecure, yet are spoiled and have<br />entitlement attitude. I guess when<br />we get everything we want, we tend<br />to believe we deserve it....and we<br />do! But yet the fear lurks....<br /><br />It seems that you fear losing what<br />you have in your partner, as aging changes your physical aspects. If<br />you are loved only for those things, it's an illusion of what<br />real love is.<br /><br />But if you look deeper, you may find the undiscovered self that he<br />loves, beyond the physical.<br /><br />Can you reach out to yourself as you would a lover, and connect with<br />your beloved self?<br /><br />Remember, this journey is one of change, and it might be that some<br />day, you decide that you want <br />something different from your status quo. You will take a fearless step into the unknown.<br /><br />I'm not sure what you mean by "tough". Maybe you appear stronger<br />than you believe you are? We never<br />know the extent of our endurance<br />until it's tested.<br /><br />You mention a heavy duty disease;<br />I too, am on the other side of much<br />pain, incapacity, and deep depression from losing the self I<br />had come to know as me.<br /><br />I'm coming back, although not as<br />strong as I was, but renewing my<br />value in myself and my gifts.<br /><br />I'm pretty earth bound myself, but<br />know that I'm more than my body.<br />My spirit lives, and so does yours!<br /><br />Thank you so much for sharing so<br />deeply. You honor all of us.Shandihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07812338717674787601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3791244652554936.post-81904031522184458942011-09-15T23:18:35.899-07:002011-09-15T23:18:35.899-07:00Shandi, thanks for "validating" me in a ...Shandi, thanks for "validating" me in a way, by the simple interest you showed about my opinion regarding a subject that is fairly new to me.<br /><br />I am not and has never been a "beauty." Despina is too kind to refer to me as that. Men always responded to my sexuality and that paired with a very aggressive personality, got me a lot in life.<br /><br />My insecurities started stemming from me, as you mentioned very accurately. Only people, who I do not know or care, make cruel comments about our aging and being less useful, in front of me. <br /><br />Being with a very handsome, successful, younger, desirable by all partner, does not help either. Granted, he never offended me once, about anything, but my spoiled and full of entitlement attitude. He still thinks I am the most beautiful thing or person he has laid (expression correct or not?) his eyes on. He protects my feelings and self doubt in a fierce way.<br /><br />Still, some young Turks, like Gunther, come in the scene and remind me of my insecurities. I defend myself, as you did. They always win, because society's general reaction towards an aging female, reflects his image of us. That is when I bring in the "big guns" besides my mouth, in this case his boss, and I hide behind his back, while he rips him a second a-hole.<br /><br />Yes, I do have some passions I would like to pursue, even though I am still recuperating from a heavy duty disease. <br /><br />I will try, to start giving credit to myself for every good thing I do for my self or others.<br /><br />I will try to be less materealistic and more productive. I will not allow any negative comments to get under my skin. They usually do not, I brought this pain on to myself. It is difficult being with a non-aging, younger than me demi-God, who blinds and controls many around him with his beauty, charm, accomplishments and power.<br /><br />How is that for a beginning manifesto? <br /><br />I am not as tough as Despina thinks, but still fairly tougher than the average female. Time to rise to the challenge one more time. <br /><br />Thank you for making me relevant to the discussion. I love Despina's blogs, but many ideas go "over my head," because I am more earth bound, than metaphysical.Popi.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3791244652554936.post-55206183481124311662011-09-12T15:54:53.910-07:002011-09-12T15:54:53.910-07:00Popi,
It can be difficult for beautiful
women to s...Popi,<br />It can be difficult for beautiful<br />women to see their inner beauty<br />because the world responds to the<br />image it can see. And it's pretty<br />normal for us to rely on that to<br />get our needs and desires met.<br /><br />There will always be someone, male or female that ridicules or marginalizes us, but we don't have to do it to ourselves.<br /><br />I don't believe that if someone cares about me they would do this.<br /><br />If we're insecure, any negative<br />comment directed to us, can pull us<br />down into self doubt. It really <br />depends on where we are with ourselves.<br /><br />I learned early on that it's not<br />up to me to try to please people.<br />And I can't control them either.<br />One person wants me to do this, <br />another wants me to do that. It<br />can go on and on. Someone is<br />always wanting something different<br />from us.<br /><br />In my lifetime, I've discovered<br />that most people don't trust themselves. This may stem from<br />parental judgments. <br /><br />If you are relying on your beauty,<br />it's time to take stock of your<br />other gifts, and discover your<br />purpose. Is it to entertain, heal,<br />organize, create, motivate, direct,<br />transform, beautify, inspire, etc.?<br />What resonates with your being?<br /><br />As for Gunther, and others like<br />him, we need to see through our<br />attraction, and we do, when we're<br />ready.<br /><br />I gave Gunther too much by responding, and then I reached my<br />limit. That's when I realized that<br />I had used him as I would a tissue, <br />and it was time to discard it.<br /><br />I'm interested in what you agreed<br />with, and the pain you experienced.<br />Are you willing to share that?<br /><br />Your opinion and feelings are<br />important<br /><br />ShandiShandihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07812338717674787601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3791244652554936.post-76817544756179993812011-09-08T12:09:37.521-07:002011-09-08T12:09:37.521-07:00This is great, girlfriends! I love that we are hav...This is great, girlfriends! I love that we are having a conversation from different parts of the country: Virginia, Florida, Cleveland, and of course California.<br /><br />Please let's make this a forum for discussion. You have inspired me.<br /><br />Love you all!Despina Gurlideshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11479507100650738161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3791244652554936.post-74791584213238788132011-09-07T12:08:02.657-07:002011-09-07T12:08:02.657-07:00Despina,
I loved your last blog very much. It hit ...Despina,<br />I loved your last blog very much. It hit some chords in my existence. I do not know what or who I am anymore.<br /><br /> I just read Deb's, I think, comment and I was wondering the same thing. After our youth and easy existence, thanks partly to our looks, what is left? I do not want even to think about it. But, I also refuse to keep my insecurities to my self. I want to know what other females in the same predicament as mine think or do.<br /><br />Thanks to men like Gunther, we struggle even more. They marginalize us, ridicule us, either openly and directly, or behind our bak.<br /><br />I want to believe that opinions like his, because many more share them, do not affect me. They usually do not. <br /><br />I found myself being down though, after my mini confrontation with this individual. Shandi thinks that she would "discard" him like a used tissue? His answer was so bad and to the point, I will not repeat it, because I agreed with him and pain was twisting my intestines.<br /><br />We should discuss our issues among ourselves and leave poisonous men like him out. Do not validate comments like his by responding. Ignoring him is the best reaction to his resentment towards females. <br /><br />Like Despina, I am working on not hitting back with both guns blazing. I still had to "react" lightly, but firmly in this case. <br /><br />He still managed to puncture my "self esteem." <br /><br />I will learn not to identify with any model. I am not and never has been the "weaker" sex. I will just be a female, who is trying to be happy with what she has and no "label" at all. <br /><br />I will just be.(I stole the expression from my 7 yr. old.) Am I pathetic or what?<br /><br />Ladies, do not stop sharing comments and ideas.Popi.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3791244652554936.post-45093647705696789912011-09-05T14:17:24.896-07:002011-09-05T14:17:24.896-07:00I’ve pondered this clash of the ages since, at 39,...I’ve pondered this clash of the ages since, at 39, an Ivey-league marketing director tossed me from a grunge rock marketing meeting even before it started, saying: “I wouldn’t understand the music because I was too old….” Grunge was then and this is what I’ve got now…we will all, men and women, struggle to remain relevant as we grow older and then old. But make no mistake, so long as we are in the material world, power, be it the power of sex, wealth, desire, influence, etc. is the currency of that world. As beautiful women we wield a ton of power that is sooo easy to leverage. So as our beauty fades, the questions is, what else have you got?Debnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3791244652554936.post-47020851711933092392011-09-03T17:27:48.901-07:002011-09-03T17:27:48.901-07:00Beautifully said! Each of us is really so unique,...Beautifully said! Each of us is really so unique, with our own<br />gifts to share.<br /><br />Knowing my purpose gives me a sense<br />of confidence that doesn't fade with the years.<br /><br />I hope to continue to inspire, encourage, and support until I take<br />my last breath.<br /><br />I'm thankful to have enjoyed <br />magical moments with friends and <br />lovers throughout my life.<br /><br />I'm also thankful to have come through serious pain and depression<br />to the other side, and can now help<br />others.<br /><br />I can be outspoken, but more than that I'm willing to take a stand<br />for my priorities and values.<br /><br />I want to be able to distance myself from situations or people<br />that feel toxic to me. Sometimes<br />it takes awhile.Shandihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07812338717674787601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3791244652554936.post-88180647212905191592011-09-03T15:40:04.766-07:002011-09-03T15:40:04.766-07:00Thank you Despina, for bringing this subject up. ...Thank you Despina, for bringing this subject up. I hope there are many thoughtful comments and a rich discussion.<br /><br />I agree there are few archetypes for women in our mainstream culture. But I don't fit into any types listed here either, especially the young, desirable (aka fertile), or the safe loving mother (who did her duty to propagate the species). Yes, I'm mid-fifties and "older" by society's standards, but I'm not particularly outrageous and don't want the pressure of needing to be outspoken in order to prove my worth since I'm no longer a hot babe. That feels like another merry-go-round and I just got off ones in my marriage, the corporate world, and in always trying to project a successful/competent/smart/got-it-together image so people like me. <br /><br />My practice these days is to, as much as possible, be who and what I am in each moment, without a thought of what anyone thinks of me, and without any image or identity to project and maintain. As I leave the safety of the country and re-engage with the world, Life is giving me plenty of opportunities to see where I'm still hooked!!Darahttp://trustyourbliss.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.com