Thursday, June 10, 2010

A Course in Miracles

To my surprise, today is the 12th day of my following the Course in Miracles. There are 365 lessons, one for each day, which I started on my birthday. I've heard about the Course in Miracles for years--decades really--but wasn't drawn to it until now. The reason for this is clear to me. I wasn't ready for this teaching which is all about forgiveness. The only way to salvation is by forgiving others. Ugh! Anything but that, was my first thought. I really got the lesson about truth and freedom, but for years now I have been using truth and freedom mostly as a weapon to beat other people with. It's clear that it's time to lay the sword down.

The path that lead me to start the Course was circuitous. First I read a book by David Icke called Human Race Get Off Your Knees. While I believe that most of what is written there is true, it was about 700 pages of very depressing stuff. We live in a world where religion destroys true spirituality, medicine destroys health, education destroys true knowledge, the legal system destroys true justice. Yep. I get this. But there were only a few pages at the end that were inspiring, concerning what to do to clean up this mess. So I finished this book and prayed for inspiration.

Then a friend sent me a book for my birthday called The Disappearance of the Universe. It discussed the Course in Miracles and the importance of forgiveness. I started shifting from focusing on everything that's wrong with the world, and started focusing on what is wrong with me. I don't forgive. I see minor things as attacks. I play old events that happened years ago over in my mind and get angry. My mind is insane--as is everyone else's. OK, I realized that I needed help to get to the next level. And it couldn't be another guru. I was not about to give my power away again. The teaching needed to be a self-study course.

Another friend gave me a book for my birthday which I had already read. She exchanged it for the Course and off we went. In addition to the 365 lessons there is a LOT of text. Most people don't read the text, but of course I do. I'm up to page 600 and it's intense. But here's what has spoken to me so far. Illness comes from attack--believing that you can be attacked and in turn attacking others. Since in Reality there is only one of us, when you attack another person you are really attacking yourself. The way to heal is by forgiving, rather than attacking. In reality, there is nothing to forgive as no one is really hurting you. But at this level, where we are still in the illusion of separation, forgiveness is necessary.

So for purely selfish reasons, I am now focusing on forgiving and not attacking--as I do not want to live in a lonely world where illness and pain reigns. Forgiveness will pave the way to Heaven on Earth. Unfortunately forgiveness does not come as easily as freedom does for me, but then again I haven't been practicing for very long. And I know that I have help, as I can call upon the Holy Spirit for support. This is the only way to end the insanity of the world. I need to end my own insanity.


Anonymous said...

You’ve got a good goal but the method you speak of may not be the best way to get there. I think you could make this easier for yourself and better all around by focusing first and foremost on what is RIGHT with you. When you heart, as well as your head, really accepts how good and right and valuable you truly are you won’t feel so attacked by others and it will be easier not to attack back.

Then you could focus on what is right with the people you’re trying to forgive. Perhaps they were just a little frustrated when said something that felt like an attack. Perhaps they had good reason to be frustrated. Perhaps they were actually trying to help and that involved not being a yes-man or a yes-woman. Perhaps they weren’t perfect enough to forgive your prior attacks on them and a little resentment and anger showed through. Perhaps you feel attacked and angered rather than challenged when someone simply tries to help you see the weakness of a belief you hold that is harmful and dangerous. When you truly believe in yourself, you don’t feel attacked when a belief is challenged. You are not your beliefs, after all.

Once you see what is right with you and with others, you can be more compassionate with your own imperfect actions and those of others. You can soften around those who try to challenge your ideas and beliefs. You can better see who truly deserves your friendship, your respect, your consideration.

Understanding, compassion, forgiveness cannot come from the head focusing on what is wrong. They must come from the heart focusing on what is right.

Despina Gurlides said...

It's funny, when I first saw that there was a comment on my post, my first thought was,"Oh,no, I'm being attacked again." I realize that I live in a world where there is a war going on. I expect to be attacked and I am ready to defend. Ugh! The more I read the Course, the more I see the insanity of my mind.

Thank you for your comment. This is very helpful. I've been trying to forgive from my head, as you said, and it's not working. Because my head sees everything that is wrong.

Finding things about me that are right. I didn't realize until you recommended this, how I never do that. I am my own worse critic. Which is why I can't bear anyone else telling me what is wrong with me.

I can't give to others what I can't give to myself. I will follow your advice and find things that are right with me. It seems like the only way I can do this work.

Thank you!