A friend "accused" me recently of being unnaturally attracted to men. She said that she didn't know too many women who liked men the way I do. She wasn't talking about being sexually attracted to men. She was talking about the fact that I like men in my life and I don't see them as the root of all evil. It was funny that she thought my liking men was strange but it wasn't surprising as she is gay, holds women's groups and is studying feminine spirituality.
The Masculine has been coming up in my life a lot lately, to show me where I have been unbalanced and how I need to heal. I spent my late 20's and all my 30's trying to be an imitation man, with the business suits, running departments, and trying to be something that I wasn't cut out to be. Of course this took its toll on my health as the body is not meant to run for years on adrenaline. I realized recently that I no longer fit in the business world.
I realized also that I don't fit in with the women who have issues with men, or ignore men, or can't wait for the Goddess to take over and make men pay for 5,000 years of male domination. I was talking with a male friend yesterday who told me how painful it was to grow up in a house of angry women, with posters up that said "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." He is a sensitive guy, an artist who is also a carpenter and I care about him very much.
Two gay male friends came over for brunch yesterday and I enjoyed their company and their diversity. They've been together for over 20 years. One of them is a very logical, linear lawyer who is skeptical of most new age things, while his partner is a very intuitive guy who remembers his past lives in Atlantis. I love them both. And I love my over the top testosterone friend who would like to have a harem of women--even though I'm clear that I have no interest in being in the harem.
What is there to love about men? my gay woman friend might ask. I love their strength and how protective they are. I love how they can fix things and how grounded they are in this world. I love how logically their mind works--direct and to the point. I love how they can lead and how they have honor and how they are willing to die for what they believe in. I love their sense of freedom and adventure. I love their sense of humor and playfulness; the little boy in them seems to be just beneath the surface waiting to come out. I love how dependable they are and how they take responsibility not only for themselves but for the larger community.
Is this an unhealthy attitude for a woman to have? I believe that a woman can be in her power and love and honor men at the same time. I don't want to be a man nor do I want to control men. I want to partner with them to create a better world.