A while ago I wrote that I was waiting for God to give me guidance before I did anything. I wasn't about to do something just to feel that I was in control and being active. I received a comment on that post, saying that I needed to look within, to take responsibility, to follow my passions. While I agree with this comment, it leads me to believe that I was misunderstood--or wasn't expressing myself clearly.
When I say that I am waiting for God to guide me--or waiting for a miracle--what I am really saying is that I'm waiting for a shift in my perspective. That is the miracle. And guidance from God may come from a thought that gives me joy, as it did recently.
A few weeks ago I was awake at 2 am and thought to myself that I could take my favorite posts from this blog (I've been writing after all for a few years) and group them together according to topic: Health, Work, Relationships, Friendships, etc. Then I could write before each section how my thinking had evolved. For example I have gone from believing in manifesting to believing in miracles. I have gone from being angry at men to honoring them.
Well, as soon as I thought of doing this, I felt excitement. Something inside me was jumping up and down from joy. I was looking forward to starting this project. And so I did. I actually have completed it, which is part of the reason I haven't written in a while.
I have since learned about writing query letters and sending them to literary agents. I am about to start writing a book proposal. While I don't know what will come of this, I now am doing something that makes me happy. I am using my God given talents to offer something more than this blog to the world. And I am no longer focusing on not having money, or on all the things that are happening in my life that I don't like. Instead I am focusing on what I want to create: a book that will be published and a speaking career that will support others on their life's journey.
As I am doing this, the whole world around me is shifting. My relationships are improving. I feel a sense of abundance. New opportunities are coming into my life, such as the possibility of speaking at an event. The miracle is a shift in my perspective--from feeling poor and needy to feeling that I have something to offer to support others. And this shift in perspective is the difference between heaven and hell.