Thursday, April 2, 2009

How does one choose between goals that are opposite?

Since my beautiful friend Diana says that she misses reading my blog, I'll write something and see how it goes. It's clear to me that I don't want to write about my own process. So I've been thinking that I could answer questions, according to my experience and beliefs.

My friend Kalli sent me six questions that I've been sitting on because I haven't felt like writing. So I'll start with her first question and see how it goes:

How does one choose between goals, when they are mutually exclusive? If one will benefit more than one person and the other will bring peace of mind only to the principal character? Does this person betray anybody, in the pursuit of happiness and whom?

Since we're all connected, at the deepest level, anything that is for your highest good is for the highest good of all. So in making a choice, you really only need to check your own heart, your own intuition, and see how you feel about it.

If you have a heavy feeling inside, that choice will not help anyone. It's not about sacrifice. It's not about the good of the many being more important than the individual. Communism tried that and it was hell. If people follow the path that brings them joy, then that path will bring joy to everyone. The ends are always consistent with the means. You cannot do something that makes you unhappy and have an end result that brings joy to anyone. You betray yourself when you don't pursue what gives you joy.

If you're confused, and don't know what to do, then don't do anything. When the time is right you will know what to do and it will be choiceless.


Anonymous said...

Despina, Good advise. I feel the same way. It is just the same as if you don't love yourself you can't love anyone else. Pooh.

Anonymous said...

Since I am a bit ignorant on the fact "we are all connected" and the rest of the subject, I will take the last paragraph as an advice. I will do nothing for now. What a rationalization,ah?

To my defence my experience has been, the means do not have to coincide with the end. I am no martyr, but many times I employed means that did not bring joy to me, but the end did. I have not reached the level yet that my means have to be consistent with the end.

So, like a coward, I am choosing to do nothing. But thank you for the input. Kalli

Despina said...

Hmmm...Good point.

I'm wondering if it's about meeting in the middle. Some of us have spent most of our lives conforming to other people's expectations and finally reach the point that we can only follow our own guidance.

Others have spent their lives not following anyone's rules and doing exactly what they please. Maybe for them it's time for some structure.

Regardless, when I choose a path, even if it's difficult, there is a sense of joy and freedom.

Anonymous said...

Please accept our apologies for all the mean comments and onslaught at you and your blogs. We meant what we said, but it was hurtful and unnecessary.

We are a bunch of misogynists and we derive twisted pleasure from tormenting insecure women like you. Shame on us. We are forced to offer this apology, but the truth is, it is the right thing to do.

Sorry, it will not happen again. But, try to improve too, so you will not make your self such an easy target for men like us.

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