I'm not that much into astrology, though I do read any information I get that describes what is going on energetically with the planet. However this weekend I didn't have to read anything. I felt it. From my perspective it seems that we entered another dimension this weekend, and it is still going on.
I found myself so dizzy on Sunday that all I could do is lay outside on the grass and feel the sun. I couldn't read; I couldn't use the computer; I couldn't watch TV. I felt I had so much to do as I need to move the end of the month, but I couldn't do any of it. I just surrendered and rested. Towards the end of the day the dizziness went away (I never get dizzy or headaches) but it felt as if time had stopped. No one calling. Nothing to do. Just be.
Yesterday (Monday) I felt better physically and wanted to get things done. But I wasted my time. Everything that showed up was off. An email came from a friend saying she was in London and needed money. I was shocked for a moment and then realized it was one of these spam things. Someone asked me to write a proposal to edit her book, but I knew that she wasn't seriously interested, and said no, thank you. To which she replied that she was letting the book go as other things were calling her. (I knew that!) Someone called saying that he wanted to buy my bed, but didn't speak very good English and I couldn't understand him. I felt there was something off but agreed to have him come over and see it. He never showed up. These are the highlights, but the whole day was like this. Nothing was going to get done, and I found myself freaking out because I need things to be moving right now. I had to let it go.
I've checked with several friends who said they also felt the same way. One friend said that she canceled all her weekend plans--which included some tickets--and stayed home all weekend napping a lot. She felt that we and the entire planet are going through intense energetic shifts as the old way of being is dying off. The best we can do is keep our hearts open, was her recommendation. I would have to agree though my tendency is to become afraid.
Today I thought that there might be a shift in the energy, as someone called first thing this morning wanting to buy my dining room set. But nope, his wife just called to say she couldn't afford it. So this seems like another day that I need to surrender any desire for results or doing anything. I give up. At a time when my mind says that I need to be getting things done as I am running out of time, the energy out there tells me that nothing is going to happen. I can't go against the flow. It is a time of not knowing, and I have to be OK with that.
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It's always a time of not knowing. We sometimes know something experientially, but then that moment is translated into an idea - but that idea may not be applicable to the next moment. Ultimately the question of security or freedom is a matter of "knowing" vs. not knowing. The collective may agree on a certain way of being in the world, but following that pattern does not mean anybody knows anything, except how to conform and fit in.
This kind of flip-flop energy just goes to show the limit of the dualistic view. Ultimately it's not even freedom vs. security, you can be free from the need to be free from anything, and if you're that free - what do you need to secure, anyway? If there is nothing to lose then you just move as you will, the energy of the collective is largely irrelevant to how you live.
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