Saturday, November 20, 2010

Watching the world shift around me, as I shift

In the previous post, I wrote about forgiving my father and realizing that he really loved me and did his best to take care of me. It's amazing how much impact this has had in my life, just the last few days. For one, I don't feel the constant anger running underneath the polite exterior. I feel more relaxed, more easy going, more willing to forgive others. The world is not a place where you get abandoned. Rather the world is a place where you are loved. We all have wounds and we all make mistakes, but we are doing our best. The only way to be happy is to forgive each other.

What's even more interesting, is how things have really shifted in my outer world. It seems that my own unforgiveness and disconnection from my father was blocking many more things than just my relationship with men. That was obvious. But it's all connected. So the last 24 hours I have watched in amazement as a window of opportunity has opened, and many, many good things are coming through.

For one, I was accepted to go to a workshop in January, Donald Epstein's Ultimatum, which is the best thing I can imagine going to. I'm so excited about this! Another thing, I've been trying to figure out if I should move to downsize since my income has downsized significantly. A very good friend, who is also considering moving, sent me a listing for a rental in Healdsburg that we could share together. It's a beautiful home and we both feel that living there would be a gift. I'm so excited about this too! A third thing, I got a call from a friend in Salt Lake City who wants to move forward having me be part of his training program. I'm really excited about this as well! I've spent the last day making travel arrangements to Denver, then adding Salt Lake City. Things are moving in a way that feels joyful, adventurous, and on purpose.

I know that the way to get things to happen is by doing internal processing not by pounding the pavement to make things happen in the world. But somehow it never ceases to amaze me when the whole outside world that seems so real shifts because of some healing work that I did. My thoughts and feelings absolutely create my world. I really get it. Thank God, as that makes me a powerful co-creator with God, instead of a victim.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So very interesting to follow your process. Ah life * Love * JOY * Peace * Kienda *