My apologies for not writing sooner. I haven't forgotten about my blog. It's just that I haven't been inspired to write about any issue, because I'm not experiencing the drama of any issues. Life has become very simple.
While I'm not sure how next month's rent will be paid, I am learning to really trust. Many opportunities have been showing up lately: a book to edit (I enjoy this), a client for coaching (I have a passion for this), a start-up where I may have much to contribute (I am excited about this.) I'm also realizing that I can do other things I enjoy, like tutor math. Money is showing up in small ways for which I am grateful. I even received a check for royalties from my book (OK, it was only $7.29 but I felt the energy start moving.)
In addition to appreciating all the sources of income, I have cut my expenses as much as I can. I have eliminated insurance expenses that I no longer need and have called companies such as Comcast asking for a reduction in their fees, and have gotten them. I now have a new housemate who contributes to the rent. This is a big financial help. But more than this, she is someone I enjoy hanging out with and a very good cook. Those who know me know how much I love to eat!
Rather than worry about the future, I am appreciating the present. If fear tries to creep up, I ask myself, Am I OK right now? Do I have a nice home? Enough food? Am I in good health? Invariably the answer is yes. It is only if I project myself into the future that I start becoming anxious. So my choices are to stay in the present and be happy, or worry about the future and be in hell. Duh! I choose to stay in the present.
Rather than pray for my circumstances to change, I have been praying to release my fears. Slowly but surely this has been happening. And what is resulting is happiness regardless of the outside circumstances. I'm not totally there yet, but I see where I am heading, and I like it. The only thing is that it doesn't make for an interesting story as there is so little drama. But frankly, the story is where all the suffering is. I'm happy to let go of it.