Friday, October 22, 2010

Only what you have not given can be lacking in any situation

Yes, this is something else from the Course in Miracles (p. 368) which to me is simple and profound. We are so focused on what other people aren't giving us. They're not giving us love, appreciation, gratitude, forgiveness--you name it. We almost never turn it around and ask ourselves if we are giving others love, appreciation, gratitude and forgiveness.

I remember a friend complaining about her husband a while ago. She was explaining how he didn't appreciate all the work that she was doing around the house. "Is it too much to ask for a little appreciation??" she asked me. "Well," was my response, "Do you appreciate what your husband does for you?" "No way!" was her immediate answer. She later shifted into a softer place of appreciating him and their relationship improved. You can't bully someone into appreciating you. But usually if you appreciate them, they wind up appreciating you as well. It's pretty simple.

I was very angry with a friend a few days ago, whom I felt abandoned me at an event we went to. My immediate reaction was to leave him and never speak to him again. That would show him! Then the witness part of me chimed in. So you are abandoning him because he abandoned you? Does that make any sense? This is how the war continues.

I needed a couple of days to cool off, but I emailed him today as we have dinner plans. When he called me back, I found myself talking to him as if nothing had happened. Oh, right. He's not the enemy; he's a friend who is going through some stuff on his own. Guess what? He's not always open-hearted, but he is most of the time. How many times have I shut down my heart to him?

So whatever we feel is missing in our life, let's focus on giving that to others. It will come back to us multiplied. I promise.

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