The true source of sickness

I wasn't intending to make this blog about the Course in Miracles, but each day I am receiving a lesson that really speaks to me and offers me a new perspective. I have to warn that what I am about to write is not "common sense". But then again, I don't think that my views on the world are common to begin with.

So today's lesson is about sickness. We think that sickness is caused by germs, viruses, bacteria, etc. but it's not. Sickness is a defense against the truth, the Course in Miracles states. In other words we make ourselves sick because we don't want to face the truth of who we are and what we want. If we faced these truths we would most likely need to change our lives radically--possible leave our jobs or our relationships. These changes are too scary and so we choose to get sick instead, to keep our world from changing.

Better to stay in the world we know, even if we're unhappy. That's how most of us think. It takes courage to take a leap of faith and go into the unknown, even if the known has made us miserable. But these days if we don't make a change the suffering keeps increasing until we are in so much pain that we have to move.

According to the Course in order to be healthy we need to:

• Stop attacking others, even in our thoughts. If we attack, the attack comes back to us and attacks our bodies.
• Stop judging others, as this is just another form of attack
• Stop making plans to keep ourselves safe from an uncertain future. This last requirement surprised me. Even though I know that "God laughs when he hears about our plans" I didn't realize that this focus on being secure in the future was a source of illness.

I have to say that my experience confirms the above. Last year I was very sick, losing my hair, and barely had energy to do anything. It was a time when I was being attacked on this blog, I was attacking, I was judging others, and I was working more hours than I cared to for a secure future. These days I am feeling much better. I have energy and the hair is finally growing back. People ask me how I got better. I can tell you it wasn't supplements; I tried and can't stomach them.

So all I can think of is that the Course in Miracles is actually working. I've been focusing on forgiveness, I've stopped attacking and judging (OK, not totally but much less) and I am living with uncertainty without making plans to fix it. This is working for me. Though I am not as comfortable as I used to be, I feel much more alive. Did I mention that I have a dancing partner and plan to take dance lessons once a week? Last year I could barely stand. So all in all, I have to say that life is good.